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Society dictates that I should be focusing percent of my time and energy on my children, my babies. I love my children with all my heart and soul. Sex and especially good sex is an integral part of being a human being, mom or not. Being a mom and enjoying sex are not mutually exclusive. For the record, the term MILF — not into it. Well — I feel strange even writing this — I like to wake up in the morning, climb on top of my sexual partner, and ride him. Does that make you uncomfortable? Well, I have news for you: There is nothing wrong with that. Still, I hesitate to discuss my love of sex with certain people, the ones I feel will judge me.

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But we do commiserate on having sex — or not. However, there are only a handful of female friends witch whom I can candidly discuss my love of sex. Having recently moved in with my partner, I've also been spending much of my time negotiating gender equality. And the truth is, navigating who should do the dishes, or pay the bills, or take out the trash, is important, but not hot. I don't want to navigate how to be respectful and egalitarian in the bedroom; I want to be thrown down, spanked, and screamed at. Two partners in an equal position of power are good at settling chores, and at making love.

But I think fucking requires a bit of a power imbalance—and sometimes I just want to be fucked. Earlier this year, The New York Times Magazine ran a story about how gender equality doesn't always belong in bed. As sex writer Dan Savage put it, "We all want to be with somebody who can flip the switch and see you as an object for an hour. Sometimes sex is an expression of anger or a struggle for power and dominance.

They work in concert. In my own case, I happily understand the difference between fantasy and belief, and I know my partner does, too. So often after he calls me a dirty slut, and my convulsions have subsisted, he'll look me in the eyes and say, "You know I love and respect you, right? Because I believe that ultimately, being a "whore" doesn't make me anything more or less than a woman who enjoys sex, and who can serve herself in serving her partner.

beaudrry There's a subversion to it that feels freeing, coursing through my body until I am rendered both weak, and strong. In "whore," I've found both. Have a secret confession you'd like to share? And read more confessions here. If you like this article, please share it! Your clicks keep us alive!


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